Separate Ways
by WillAnyOneKnowYouLikeMe
Summary: Regina Swan Mills is a famous actress, she is married to Emma Swan, who is the Governor of New York, and they have a son Henry. Emma is fighting for their marriage, Henry is choosing sides, and Emma has won, but what happens when someone from Regina's past shows up, and turns everything upside down? SwanQueen, Regina/OC
1. Chapter 1

**Authors Note: Hey everybody, I don't know where this idea came from, but I thought I would try it out. It's a bit AU. I hope you like it though, and I don't own any of the characters.**

 **Summary: Regina Swan Mills is a famous actress, she is married to Emma Swan, and they have a son Henry. Emma is fighting for their marriage, Henry is choosing sides, and Emma has won, but what happens when someone from Regina's past shows up, and turns everything upside down?**

* * *

It was yet another Friday night, and Regina Swan Mills found herself once again taking a sip from her homemade apple cider, Regina ignored the small snort her sub-conscious gave her. This was how it always began. For the past four weeks, Regina would sit down in front of her TV at 8:30, always telling herself she was just channel surfing. A ridiculous lie she well knew since she had never done such a thing in her life, and was not likely start now at 40 years old.

She allowed herself a small smirk of contempt, as she flicked through no more than two channels before landing on the one she wanted, knowing full well that a certain brunette would pop up at any moment.

' _What are you doing woman?_ ' A voice inside her head screamed over and over again, just like it did every Friday night.

Regina had no answer she could accept, so like always she ignored the internal query, and drank the rest of her cider and watched the opening of the episode.

She hadn't even made it through half way though the episode, and she was happy to see that the whole reason on why she was tuning in had much more screen time than she previously had. ' _About time_ ' She thought to herself with yet another smirk.

It's not even that the show interested her, because to be honest it didn't, but the certain brunette who was walking down the sidewalk, in a tailor made power suit, and Raybans did.

' _You're having a midlife crisis! A bit early, but a crisis. Your marriage is falling apart, mostly because of you. Henry has chosen Emma; you're going through a crisis!'_ Regina's mind screamed at her, but she quickly brushed it off, once again. It had become the same Mantra every single Friday Night since she had sat down in front of the TV, to watch this ridiculous show. It was the only had decent excuse she could actually accept to deal with her overwhelming obsession with the one and only Lorelai Gilmore.

Not that it was a new obsession, because it isn't, she just thought she could control it better, but the be honest, she hasn't. It all started nine years ago, when she had been forced to work on a show with Lorelai, when her mother asked her to star it in, because her mother had been directing it. She had controlled it then, not well, but she did. Once they stopped filming and the show ended, she was convinced that Lorelai would be out of her life, forever. But Regina Mills should have known better. She thought the same exact thing when she met Lorelai. Regina Couldn't have been more, receiving shock of a life time when she'd been told by her mother that Lorelai Gilmore was the latest edition to the show.

The first day that Lorelai arrived on set, Regina felt like she was free falling. Not knowing how to handle her own resurgent emotions toward the young woman she turned everything she felt into animosity and ended up treating Lorelai like shit. After two years of working with her, Regina had actually handed in her resignation, wanting them to find a replacement for her, but after constant pleading by her mother and the executive producers, she decided to stay on for the remaining two years.

When the show did end, Regina never felt more conflicted as she did when ' _Once Upon a time_ ' ended, finally she would be able to once again leave Lorelai Gilmore behind her. Of course, nothing happened between them as it had in the past, but being around Lorelai was enough to tempt Regina, and Regina didn't want to be tempted.

There had been a few close calls, once when Regina walked into the Trailer Lorelai used, to discuss the script with her, and found the brunette in nothing more than a terrycloth bathrobe. It was held loosely together with the ties, but open enough for Regina to realize Lorelai wore nothing underneath it. Regina had stopped dead in her tracks, and stared for what seemed like like years, but in reality was nothing more than seconds. Finally, when Regina was able to regain composure of herself enough to finally take her gaze from the brunette's body, their eyes et, and she saw the same passion as when she first met the engaging young acting major. Regina knew without a doubt that her eyes mirrored the same as Lorelai's, and she knew that Lorelai knew it too. Suddenly, it felt as if no time and circumstance had never come between them, turning promptly on her heels, Regina fled the trailer, having Lorelai call her name nearly made her lose her resolve, but she managed to stay on her course.

Later that day during filming, Lorelai sought her out in a secluded corner of the Paramount lot, all she had do was same Regina's name, and Regina knew what was coming. The coming confrontation had been haunting her all day, thinking about how much she hated herself, she shoved her own needs back into the darkness, gathered herself and turned to Lorelai with cold eyes, simply saying "No". Lorelai stared into her hard gaze or only moment's before acknowledging her decisions with a quick nod then turning and walking away. Regina could swear that could feel Lorelai's high heels digging into her heart with each step those long legs took her away from her. Once Lorelai was out of sight, Regina rushed to her trailer and cried for what felt like forever, until she was called back to shooting. Then the next day, Regina did something she never did, she called in sick.

That incident happening only weeks into filming season four, Regina expected to be confronted again, but Lorelai never tried to bring the subject matter up again. Regina knew why, and with one word, she had crossed a line with Lorelai, from which she could never return. And just like that, never once did they in their four years of working together, did they speak of their past.

Xxxxx

The sound of the phone ringing was enough to bring Regina back to the present time, she let out a quick sigh before she reached across her coffee table, and checked the caller ID before she bothered picking up the phone.

"Hi Emma" Regina whispered not wanting to sound like there was anything on her mind, but She knew that Emma knew her better than that.

"Hi Regina, how are you doing? I miss you." Emma told her, and Regina fought back a groan. She never Emma was trying to fix everything that was happening between them, but to be honest, Regina wasn't sure if she wanted it to be fixed. She wasn't even sure, she has never been sure if she loved Emma, not like she loved Lorelai anyway.

"You know Emma, there really is no need to tell me such things anymore." She told the blonde, in a teasing manner, even though she really wasn't teasing.

"Nonsense!" Emma smiled, and Regina knew there was no point in arguing with her, because to be honest she wasn't in the mood.

Regina knew that Emma would still harbor feelings for her, and she knew Emma wanted to resume their marriage, as much as Regina didn't want, Emma never wanted to discuss it, so they never did. Plus, it wouldn't look good on Emma's part, with her whole career in the political world. Who knew that the once detective would become a Governor of New York, because Regina never pictured it, but here they were.

"So how are you?" Emma persisted.

"Tired and annoyed." Regina snapped, not meaning to, but she did, and she knew the blonde was used to it.

"Anything, you care to talk about?"

"No, but thanks for the offer, is there any specific reason you are calling? Or did you just want to say hi?" Regina asked growing more impatient.

The phone was silent for a moment, before Emma finally spoke again. "Both. I did want to see how you were doing, since I am not home right now, and second, I wanted to ask a favor." Emma informed her.

Regina smiled, because she figured as much, and didn't really mind, plus it gave her her a chance to get away from her own maddening thoughts for a while. "Sure, what's up?" Regina asked.

"Well, I have to go to Los Angeles…." Emma began and then stopped.

"Yeah?" Regina pushed.

"There is a large democratic fundraiser taking place, and I was wondering if you would come with me. We really haven't spent any time together lately, and I miss you." Emma told her, and when Emma didn't get a response, she tried again. "Well?"

"I'd be happy to, I will check with my parents to see if they will watch Henry." Regina told her.

"Regina, he is a teenager…." Emma began but Regina cut her off once more.

"I don't care; I would like my house to be in once piece when I get back." Regina snapped.

"Our house" Emma corrected her.

"Right" Regina sighed. "When is it?" She asked wanting to change the subject.

"In a few days, I know I am in Ohio right now, but you can fly here, and we can fly out together." Emma told her.

"You really don't like to give me any notice do you?" Regina laughed, but Emma knew she was serious.

"Sorry, I meant to tell you before I left but I forgot." Emma told her and Regina just nodded her head.

"I know how your memory is dear" Regina chuckled before she added "I will fly out on Monday, pick me up from the airport?"

"Of course, thanks again babe, see you in a few days, say hello to Henry. I love you." Emma told her and Regina didn't even bother to respond, she just hung up the phone and once she did, she looked back at the TV screen, and saw non other than Lorelai Gilmore looking out of the screen back at her, and that's when it hit her.

Lorelai is in LA!

"Yes, and you are going to stay far, far away from her." Regina told herself


	2. Chapter 2

**_Authors Note: Once again I do not own these characters, and Italics are flashbacks  
_**

* * *

 _Struggling to hold her head off the pillow, Regina watched through a half lidded, lustful gaze, as Lorelai crawled up her naked body. Her head dropped back with a thud, as a moan escaped her lips, as she felt Lorelai finger tips slide up her thigh. Regina raised her head again, and she just had enough time to watch as Lorelai began to tease her clit with her fingertips._

 _"God, Lorelai, you're killing me!" She cried out, her voice horse and raspy form the multiple times she had already screamed Lorelai's name._

 _Her hips bucked suddenly against her will, when Lorelai replaced her fingertips with her tongue, a low scream erupted from her throat. Regina whimpered and thrashed, helpless under the passing minutes of Lorelai's sweet torture, and the moment Lorelai stopped, Regina's head shot up from the pillow._

 _"You are trying to kill me, aren't you?" Regina asked in a low growl._

 _Once again, Regina's thoughts were lost when Lorelai was suddenly the rest of the way up her body, and kissing her with a passion that was as raw and needy as their first time. Regina's hands glided down the young woman's back, until she reached her ass, and grabbed the firm cheeks, trying to pull the brunette impossibly closer to her._

 _Lorelai broke the kiss, as she pushed herself up on both arms, staring down at the woman beneath her. Regina couldn't help but stare back as she felt the breath leave her body, as the candle light played across Lorelai's body. One word kept repeating in her mind, until she finally heard herself say it out loud. "Goddess". Upon hearing it, Lorelai couldn't help but through her head back and laughed, as a dazzling smile and heated blue eyes, came back down to capture Regina's own brown eyes looking back at her._

 _Regina felt herself aching for this woman, in a way she has never before, not even for Emma. She always ached for this woman, since the first moment they laid eyes on each other._

 _"Turn around" Lorelai whispered in a husky and demanding voice, and Regina wasn't one to follow other people's orders, but with Lorelai, she did. So like always, Regina did as she was told, because she knew what Lorelai wanted._

 _Regina took in Lorelai's aroused state, as she licked a slow path through Lorelai's center, teasing her as she had teased her, moments ago. She quickly became intoxicated with Lorelai's taste, and all rational thought quickly left her mind, once again. She quickly thrusted two fingers into Lorelai's hot wetness, and heard Lorelai call her name before the brunette lowed her head to her own wanting center._

 ** _xxxxxxxx_**

Suddenly, Regina was jerked rudely awake as she tried to get her bearings, looking around her.

"Nightmare?" Emma asked from her seat next to her.

' _Of course, I am on a plane with flying to LA with Emma._ ' Emma thought to herself.

"Not exactly." Regina deadpanned, and she relived when Emma didn't push her any further, and instead went back to reading her paper. Not like she would have given her any further information anyway, Emma never knew about her relationship or affair with Lorelai, Emma only knew they had worked together, and she planned on keeping it that way.

' _This has got to stop'_ Regina's mind screamed at her once again.

Though her mind was never known for obedience as she squirmed in her seat, as she became aware of the wetness between her legs, hoping that Emma wouldn't notice. Unconsciously, licking her lips at the visual still in her mind, she then became aware of the taste in her mouth as she immediately recognized Lorelai. Fighting back a groan of frustration, she threw her head back against the leather seat.

Quickly, she grabbed the stewardesses by the arm who picked that moment to walk by, as she demanded "Double whiskey, neat." A brunette with blue eyes looked down at her, and smiled with acknowledgment, before moving on to fulfill Regina's request.

Once again, Regina groaned with frustration, this time as the woman walked off.

' _Typical_. I get on the plane with a stewardess that looks like Lorelai's twin sister' she snorted in disgust with herself. You are 40 years old. You should be past this.

In that moment, Lorelai's look-alike chose that moment to reappear with Regina's drink, bending over to place the drink in the holder attached to the seat. Regina couldn't help but get a full view on the woman's assets. "Will that be all, Mrs. Swan-Mills?"

"Yes, thank you." Regina quickly told her, and as soon as the woman turned away, Regina grabbed her whiskey and gulped in down in 10 seconds flat, and as soon as she did, she felt as if someone was watching her, so she turned to Emma, who was indeed watching her, with what she knew was a questioning look. "I'm fine." She told her, in a voice in perfect control, even though as she fixed her eyes on the Lorelai look a like, she was determined that she was not going to fall asleep again.

Xxxxx

Once they reached the hotel, Regina was determined not to share the room with Emma, but she knew that it would cause a bit of an uproar, so she gave in, but quickly went to take a shower, while Emma went off and did whatever she was going to do.

As she had stepped from the shower, grabbing a burgundy bathrobe, she had decided in that moment that she was just going to spend the night reading, but as she stepped into the living quarters of the hotel room, she saw Emma walking through the door, with a grin on her face, and Regina knew in that moment Emma had a surprise for her. "Fuck" Regina mumbled under her breath before she asked dryly. "You have a surprise for me, don't you?"

Emma's smile grew before she said "I do."

"Well don't keep me waiting." Regina said tapping her foot,

"I need you dressed, and ready to go in fifteen minutes." Emma told her and Regina's eyes grew wide, but certainly not amused. Regina quickly raised her eyebrow, and Emma knew she had to provide more information and fast if she wanted Regina to go along with her request.

"Well, I don't want to tell you too much, but I've got a dinner date set up for us, and some old friends that you haven't seen in a while. Some friends you were talking about getting together with again soon if only you could find the time." Emma informed her.

Regina just simply smiled. Emma was a sweet woman, and normally Regina would have been thrilled but at the moment, her own emotions and thoughts were turning her inside out, and she really didn't feel like catching up with Mal, Katherine, or Cruella tonight. However, she didn't want to disappoint, and she knew Emma must have went through a lot of trouble to arrange it.

"Very well, I will meet you in the lobby in fifteen minutes." Regina smiled.

"You won't be sorry." Emma smiled as she rushed to Regina's side, and wrapped her in a quick hug, before giving her a kiss, and then left the room.

Xxxxxx

Forty-five minutes later, and Regina was feeling very sorry, and very, very nervous when their car pulled up outside, LA's finest French cuisine restaurant, owned by none other than Lorelai Gilmore, and her Fiancé Luke Danes.

' _Would faking a heart attack be completely out of the question?_ ' Regina asked herself.

She quickly shook her head to dispel the ridiculous thought, as she wrapped her coat tightly around herself, before opening the car door, and stepping out into the night.

Emma was quickly by her side a few seconds later, taking her arm, and escorting her inside the restaurant. It was the first time she had ever been there, and she was surprised by how comfortable and at ease she felt the moment she stepped through the doors. Considering who might be inside she expected to feeling nothing but tense and nervous. The fact that she didn't entirely feel that way was a testament to the atmosphere Lorelai and Luke gave the restaurant.

The hostess quickly showed them to their table, where Mal, and Katherine were already seated. Both women stood upon seeing them, and gave them both a quick hug.

"Where's Cruella?" Regina asked

"Well you know her, she's running late. She should be here in ten." Mal explained.

Regina nodded her head, as she sat down at the table, trying not to look around the room too much. After all, if Lorelai was here, did she really want to know? Did she really want to be faced with the woman again? Especially with the crazy thoughts she has been having?

The four of them looked over the menu, and exchanged small talk for ten minutes until Cruella showed up. Then they ordered and caught up with each others lives, while waiting for their meals.

Shockingly, Regina found herself to be having a great time, despite the fact that Lorelai might pop over to their table at any moment. She was a bit surprised that Mal or Katherine didn't mention her, since she knew the two of them stayed in contact with but she certainly wasn't going to bring up Lorelai, and invite in trouble.

"Good evening Ladies, I hope you are having a wonderful night and enjoying the meal?" A voice interrupted them.

Regina turned in her chair slightly to address who she presumed was the waiter, but nearly dropped her glass of wine, when she saw the waiter was not the waiter, but in fact Lorelai's fiancé, Luke. Although, Regina had never met him, she had recognized him from the pictures she had seen of them together in magazines.

"Luke! It's great to see you again!" Katherine smiled, as she stood up from her chair, and gave the man a quick hug.

"It's good to see you too." He told her before he addressed Mal, "And you too." Then he turned to face Regina, "I don't think I've had the pleasure of meeting you before though?"

Regina mentally shook her head, as she was trying to find her voice, and in that moment, she thought it was gone forever. "No, I haven't had the pleasure. I am Regina Swan Mills, and this is my wife, Emma. Are you Lorelai's fiancé?"

Luke nodded his head "I am, nice to meet you both."

"Is Lorelai here? Regina asked, not even comprehending the words that were leaving her mouth.

' _What are you saying? Have you completely lost your mind!?'_ Her mind screamed at her.

"Sadly no, she is filming tonight. If you had come tomorrow instead you could have caught up with her as well." Luke informed them.

Regina tried to hide her disappointment that Lorelai was definitely not anywhere in the restaurant. ' **You should be glad!** ' her mind scream at her.

"Is she filming for her new show, or a movie?" Regina asked as once again her mind screamed at her.

' _Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!_ '

"For her new show" Luke told her with a smile.

"Is she well?" Regina asked with a slight smile.

' _Would you shut up, woman! Put something in your mouth! Anything_!' her mind kept screaming over again over again.

"Lorelai is very well, thank you for asking. When she comes home tonight I will tell her you all were here and send your regards. Now I must get back to the kitchen but I will try to stop by your table later." Luke told them, before he rushed off.

Regina watched as Luke hurried back to the kitchen, she wasn't surprised when she felt a sharp stab on jealousy. She as imagining Lorelai arriving home, gracing like with a soft kiss, maybe more once they….

' _Oh would you stop this! This is getting beyond the absurd! Now rein in your treacherous emotions and get some control back before you make an ass of yourself!'_ Regina's mind screamed.

Turning back to the table, she noticed a few strange looks from her fellow dinner companions, Katherine in particular was studying her closely with a raised eyebrow. She knew about their relationship and how Regina felt about Lorelai; and certainly asking about the woman caused them to wonder.

Regina quickly flashed them all her best smile, before she asked Cruella about his latest project, hopefully deflecting any questions before they could be asked. It appeared to work, as the rest of the evening flew by without out so much as one comment about her questions to Luke.

Xxxxxxx

After a few hours of catching up with each other, they all decoded to call it an evening. Luke never made it back to their table, and Regina was secretly thankful, but he did bid them farewell making them all promise to come back soon. While Regina enjoyed the restaurant and the food, she knew she would never be coming back.

Xxxxxx

Slipping into her car, and shutting the door, Lorelai sighed, trying to relax into the leather seat. She had just finished a night of filming and received a very strange call from Luke. It wasn't strange that he called, he often did, it was who he mentioned that was strange. A group of old cast mates, had come by the restaurant for dinner. That wasn't unusual in itself since many of them had been before, but he mentioned one name that Lorelai never expected to hear. Regina Swan Mills. Not only had Regina and her wife been with the group but according to Luke, Regina asked if she was there, and if she was well. At first, Lorelai just assumed Regina asked if she as there, because knowing Regina, she would have left if she had been there. But then to ask if Lorelai was well? That stumped her. When was the last time Regina gave a damn if she was well or not?

 _A long time ago._

Memories stirred that Lorelai had worked very hard to bury, and she felt herself grip the steering wheel tightly in response.

It wasn't until a knock on her car window startled her and she jumped in her seat. She rolled down the window, and smiled at one of her cast mates.

"You okay Lore? Everyone's pretty much gone, and I just noticed you were still sitting here."

"I'm fine, thanks" Lorelai told them with a slight smile.

Her cast mate nodded his head before he said "Okay, see you Wednesday then."

Lorelai started her car, while rolling her window back up, while Lorelai turned on the radio to distract herself from her thoughts and feeling that were not welcome in her life. Not even five minutes from the studio lot, she wished never turned on the radio. 'Separate Ways (World's apart)' started playing over the speakers. The old Journey song was the one she had listened to repeatedly for months after her and Regina parted nine years ago. She hasn't listened to it since then, she hasn't even heard it on the radio…. what were the chances that it would play now when Regina was fresh in her mind?

As the song played, more memories came rushing to the surface from where Lorelai buried them and was shocked by how many of them still hurt so deeply. Suddenly, she didn't feel like going home. And in an instant, she made a decision, she took an exit off the freeway and drove a short distance to a secluded beach she knew. She parked her car, and quickly got out, slamming the door in frustration. Before she could down on it, the door slamming, and the smell of the salty, ocean air conspired to make anther memory surface.

 _ **XXXXXXX**_

 _"_ _It's over Lorelai"_

 _It was the third time Regina had said those words, yet Lorelai still wasn't able to respond. She didn't know what to say. She was in shock. The woman standing before her didn't look like the woman she had just shared the best fourteen months of her life with. Her expression was cold, cruel, and completely lacking any loving emotion._

 _Lorelai could only stare at Regina in disbelief until Regina finally looked away and started walking to her car. The sound of a wave crashing nearby, and Regina's car door opening, snapped Lorelai out of her trance._

 _"_ _Wait!" She shouted, and she immediately hated how desperate she sounded, how needy._

 _Watching Regina's back she noticed the woman sigh deeply before turning around and walked towards her again. When she stopped in front of her all Lorelai found herself asking was "Why?"_

 _"_ _I told you when this all started it as temporary. That absolutely nothing serious could come from our affair." Regina explained once again._

 _"_ _You also told me you were only going to see me for the two weeks you were in L.A, and you and I both know those two weeks have come and gone. It's been fourteen months. You've been over backwards to make sure we could still see each other. And what about the things you said to me last…." Lorelai snapped, but was quickly cut off._

 _"_ _I was drunk last night. I don't even remember what I said." Regina snapped and Lorelai swallowed hard, and felt the knife twist more deeply into her heart. "And you're right, it was only supposed to last two weeks, I got carried away with you and for that I apologize; I shouldn't have let it go on so long. However, I told you that love was never going to be part of the equation." Regina told her in a cool, calm voice, totally in control, or so that is what she made herself believe. But Lorelai needed to make her feel._

 _"_ _You miscalculated!" Lorelai took a deep breath trying to calm herself before continuing. "I've seen the loves in your eyes…. you said you loved me last night."_

 _Lorelai watched as Regina averted her eyes to the ground, struggling not to grab her chin and make the older woman look her in the eye._

 _"_ _I shouldn't have said that." Regina tried._

 _"_ _But you did!" Lorelai snapped, fighting back tears once more._

 _"_ _I don't love you." Regina told her in a voice full of ice._

 _Lorelai shook her head "I don't believe you."_

 _Upon hearing that, Regina's head snapped up, as she rolled her eyes, while moving further and further away from Lorelai._

 _"_ _Don't walk away from me!" Lorelai called after her, while she quickly ran after Regina, grabbing her by the arm, and spinning her around, making their gazes meet. With a quivering voice, Lorelai pleaded. "Now say it to me Regina. Tell me you don't love me. Don't look at the ground. Look at me and tell me."_

 _As she held onto Regina's arm, Lorelai could feel Regina start to tremble, she could see the emotions swirling in her dark brown eyes. Still the stubborn woman said nothing, and Lorelai knew that even though Regina held her gaze, she wasn't looking into her eyes._

 _Lorelai grabbed Regina forcefully around the arms with both hands, and Lorelai couldn't hold it back any longer. "Damn it, Regina. You can't just ignore what we have, what we both feel. I love you." Finally, in that moment, Regina's eyes finally focused on her, as her own widened in surprise. "I'm sorry I didn't say it back to you last night, but I was afraid. If I'd known this was where we were going to end up, I would have said it you a hundred times over. These last fourteen months with you mean everything to me. You've changed me and I don't want you to walk out of my life. I need you." Lorelai pleaded with eyes full of tears._

 _In that moment, Lorelai could see the beginning of tears forming in Regina's brown eyes, and felt a surge of hope, hoping that she had finally reached the woman she loved. Holding her breath, she waiting as Regina closed her eyes and breathed in deeply. All too soon, Regina was pulling herself from the younger woman's grasp._

 _"_ _No, I can't do this. This wasn't supposed to happen. This doesn't fit in with my life plan. I'm 31, with a child, and a wife. I have responsibilities. You're only 25 years for god sakes. You're just starting your life. I can't do this."_

 _As Lorelai heard everything Regina was saying, she felt each word like a kick in the stomach, but despite it, she pressed on. She would not give up and quickly moved to stand behind Regina, who walked away from her once more, and was looking out over the ocean. Carefully, Lorelai laid her hands on the shorter woman's shoulders, firmly pulling her back against her body. She lowered her voice, trying for a calm voice, rather than the begging voice she felt she wanted to do. "Tell me you feel nothing for me Regina, tell me you don't want to be with me."_

 _Though, Lorelai did get the desired effect she was hoping for when she heard a strangled moan escape from Regina's lips when they made body contact, before she could do or saying anything further, Regina pulled away roughly and spun around. And just as she thought her heart couldn't get crushed anymore, it did, as Lorelai cringed as she heard Regina thoughtlessly said the words that would brand her soul forever. "This is ridiculous. What we had was sex. It was fun, but that's all it was. It meant nothing. Do you understand me?"_

 _Lorelai's face paled, and her eyes closed slowly as she absorbed the pain the mere words caused her to feel. "No, you don't mean that…I lo…." She began but Regina cut her off._

 _"_ _NO" Regina snapped "I can't take this. I'm sorry Lore, but it's over. Please don't contact me again."_

 _Finally, Lorelai could no longer hold her tears back and a single tear drop slid down her cheek, glittering in the sun. At the sight of it, Regina turned away and stumbled to her car. Lorelai watched as the dark blue car pulled away, and Lorelai felt as if her heart and soul was dragged and shredded on the pavement behind hit, left to bleed and die alone. She did not know when she finally moved, but at last Lorelai stumbled to her own car. Once she was safe in the confines, the tears finally came full force, and she had never cried so much, or hurt so deeply in all her life._

 _Xxxxxx_

Finally, Lorelai came back to the present, and she hastily wiped away the tears that had managed to fall. That moment was the most painful of her life, despite the things she'd been through since then. The two years of her life after that last meeting with Regina, she had tried so hard to forget the older woman. Filling her time with studying, traveling, having stupid flings…. nothing could erase Regina from her mind. So many times, she asked herself why Regina? Why did the love of her life have to be someone so utterly unobtainable?

So often she would flip flop between her love for Regina, over whelming her so much she could barely breathe to intensely hating the woman.

Eventually, she met Christopher, and while she didn't love him the way she loved Regina, she felt loved by him, and that was enough. Or it was enough for a while anyway. In the end, the only decent thing she'd taken from that relationship, was her daughter.

Lorelai remember her divorce from Chris, which reminded her of other events at the time in life. Getting casted in 'Once Upon a Time', the first time she was offered the part by her agent, she was stunned into silence. She didn't have to read the cast list to know that Regina was the lead in the show. She had followed the woman's career. Immediately, she turned down the role, despite the exposure it would have bought her. Of course, her agent couldn't understand her decision, and between him and the executive producer, she was constantly badgered to it. Still, she kept refusing, it was only when she admitted to herself that her relationship with Chris was completely falling apart, and she knew she needed to take the role, the fourth time she was asked her to reconsider her decision, she accepted.

During her preparation for the role, she foolishly let herself hope the damage between her and Regina could be repaired. She knew they would be working long hours together, surely a bridge would have to be built…. and Regina had never said she didn't love her. Maybe, after two years, they could salvage what they'd shared.

Though, Lorelai had no idea just how wrong she was until she stepped onto the set that first day and was introduced to the cast.

Regina had stared daggers at her and only spoke to her out of professional courtesy. Still Lorelai hadn't given; still hoping time had helped put things right between them. But then, Regina came to her trailer one day and caught her in only a robe, she had seen in Regina's eyes during those first stunned moments what she had seen years ago, but then Regina was turning and fleeing. Later that day, Lorelai concerned her, wanting to talk to her about what happened, and it was only then she realized any hope she held out for the two of them for those years was gone. All she received from the woman was the now familiar cold gaze and one, hard world. "No." Lorelai didn't need to be told anything else. What she saw in Regina's eyes back in the trailer, had been lust, pure and simple. After all, Regina never said she'd stopped desiring Lorelai, it was the first time Regina made Lorelai feel cheap and used. It was also the first time Lorelai's hate for the woman overshadowed her love.

From that moment on, Lorelai never again let herself believe there could be anything between them. Somehow, she got thought the four years, working with Regina, and now, years after filming with her for the last time, Regina asked about her. "Why?" She asked herself.

Just then, did cell phone ringing leave her question unanswered, she didn't even bother checking to see who was calling before she answered in a voice that sounded so tired. "Hello?"

"Hey, it's me, are you okay? I expected you home by now." Luke told her concerned. And it was that concern that pushed the ghost of Regina into the back of her mind.

"Sorry, Luke. I got tied up with a few takes that had to be re-done. I'm on my way home now, I'll see you soon." Lorelai told him.

"Okay, drive safe. Love you." Luke told her before he hung up the phone.

Once he hung up, Lorelai threw her phone into the passenger seat, disgusted with herself. Someone who loved her was home waiting for her, and what was she doing? She was pulled over on the side of the road, reminiscing about unrequited love.

'Forget about her, Lore. Forget about why she's asking about you. Go home and resume living your life without her in your head.' Her mind told her.

"What about my soul?" She asked herself out loud, and it was that question that echoed in the emptiness of the car for the remainder of the ride home.


	3. Chapter 3

**AUTHORS NOTE: ONCE AGAIN, I DO NOT OWN THESE CHARACTERS, AND THE ITALICS ARE FLASHBACKS**

* * *

Wednesday morning, Regina woke up feeling like shit. She had drank too much at the fundraiser last night, and then when all she wanted to do was get back to the hotel room and sleep, memories of Lorelai plagued her. When she finally did get to sleep it must have been restless, because now waking up feeling as if she hadn't slept at all.

Originally, today she and Emma had planned to leave, however yesterday morning, Mal had called and asked if she and Emma could stay for her birthday party on the weekend, since scheduling conflicts had made it impossible to attend her parties for the past couple of years, so she quickly agreed. Although, Emma wasn't able to attend due to commitments in New York on Friday, and Saturday, so Regina was driving her to the airport this morning to see her off.

Finally, she forced herself out of bed, and took a quick shower, and threw on a pair of jeans, and a blue shirt. She quickly made some coffee, and chuckled as she remembered the first time Lorelai, who is now a coffee addict, bought her breakfast in bed, and how horrible the coffee had been.

Regina shook her head, as she placed the pot down, before she dropped it as she thought to herself ' _You still love her._ '

It wasn't the first time those words flashed through Regina's mind, and she knew it wouldn't be the last time either. Regina knew she still loved Lorelai; she'd always loved her. however, whom she loved and what was expected of her was hardly the same thing.

Then Regina found herself thinking back to the day she told Lorelai it was over, it caused her feel physically sick. After driving away, and just leaving Lorelai standing there, Regina hadn't driven more than a mile before she pulled the car over to the side of the road, and completely lost it. she could still remember the look in Lorelai's eyes, the love she saw there. No one had ever looked at her with quiet the same way since, and she'd certainly never looked at anyone the way she looked at Lorelai, all those years ago.

' _She's convinced you hate her; you know?'_ her mind told her.

"I know" Regina answered herself.

' _Is that really the way you want to leave things?_ ' her mind asked her.

In that moment, Regina began pacing as she ran her fingers through her hair. "It's been years."

 _'It's only been two years since you last saw her_ ' Her mind reminded her.

Regina let out a sharp sick laugh at her own mind, "I treated her worse then…it's too late. It's been too long, there's been too much pain, too much hate. I sacrificed the love of my life for my career and family. I can't very well just waltz up to her and expect her to understand." She told herself.

' _But she might…'_ her mind began but she quickly cut herself off.

"NO" Regina dropped her head into her right hand, as she squeezed the bridge of her nose. "I've hurt her enough. Just because I'm suddenly having a hard time living without her doesn't mean I have the right to walk back into her life and screw her up again."

' _You've always had a hard time living without her.'_ Her mind trying to reason with her.

"But I repressed it, I've hidden it, I've ignored and avoided it, I have for years, and I will continue to do so."

' _To save Lorelai's anguish?'_ her mind asked.

"Yes" Regina snapped.

' _Your logic is severely lacking_ ' Her mind shouted.

"I'm having an argument with myself….logic obviously isn't my strong point right now." Regina snapped at herself, and in that moment Emma walked out of the bathroom.

"Babe, who you talking to?" Emma asked as she raised her eyebrow, as she saw a very stressed looking Regina standing in front of the coffee pot.

"The coffee pot" Regina quickly told her, trying to calm down.

"Well then, what did that coffee pot do to you? Because it sounded like a very heated one side conversation." Emma chuckled as she walked over to Regina and pressed a quick kiss to her cheek. When she felt her wife tense, she raised her eyebrow again. "You okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine" Regina lied "Now come on, you have a flight to catch." Regina told her, forgetting about her coffee.

Xxxxxxxx

After dropping Emma off at the airport, Regina made her way back to the hotel room, and finished making the pot of coffee she was planning on making before her thoughts took over. Finally, once she had the well deserved cup of coffee in her hand, she made her way over to the chair by the window. Her and Emma were staying in a hotel that overlooked the Pacific Ocean, and Regina hoped that the view would relax her. Unfortunately, the typically sunny LA day was in direct contrast with her dark, depressive mood. Instead of relaxing, the view caused another memory of her time with Lorelai to materialize before her eyes.

Xxxxxxx

 _Regina and Lorelai was walking hand in hand along the shoreline, both enjoying the soft feel of the sand between their toes. They had just finished a very late dinner, and both of them felt the need for some fresh air, and it just happened to be that Lorelai knew a secluded beach off the beaten track, and that where they found themselves now._

 _There was never a moment spent with this woman, that Regina didn't enjoy. Since the first day they met at a cocktail party, Regina couldn't get enough of the young acting major. Their relationship was dangerous, forbidden; yet Regina went out of her way to make sure it continued. Once, Regina felt the eyes on her, she turned to Lorelai and found herself entrapped by a loving gaze._

 _In that moment, both women stopped walking and turned towards each other, bodies sensing the shirt in atmosphere before their minds caught up. Regina settled her left hand on Lorelai's waist, while her right hand drifted up to catch her cheek. Lorelai closed her eyes at the touch, instantly melting under soft fingertips, as Regina used her left arm, she drew their bodies together until not even air could pass between them. Then, gently she guided the taller woman's lips to her own, hand slipping from her cheek to tangle in the soft hair. Even though, they had kissed before, this time when their lips touched it was different. Regina moaned as Lorelai's tongue entered her mouth, which only intensified their connection, and then she felt Lorelai's arms wrap around her, only bringing them impossibly closer together, and in that moment, Regina felt like Lorelai wasn't kissing her lips but instead her soul._

 _In that moment, everything shifted, and changed._

 _When the kiss ended, and Regina pulled away, she saw in Lorelai's eyes, what she indeed felt herself. Their mutual lust and infatuation for each other had just transcended into love. In a matter of weeks, Lorelai Gilmore had taken Regina's heart and Regina was at a loss as to how to get it back. then, as Lorelai lowered them both onto the sand, Regina finally admitted to herself, she didn't want it back, her heart was for Lorelai, and no one else._

Regina still remembered with vivid clarity the feel of Lorelai's body on top of her. Fingers trailing over her collarbone, between her breasts, gliding lower to slip to undo her pants, where Lorelai would only lightly touch her before removing her hand, and running it back up her body. But then a warm tongue would flick her nipple before full lips latched on, sucking strongly while teeth manipulated her hardened flesh.

Just then, hearing her own moan, did Regina snap out of her trance like state she found herself in, and abruptly stood up.

"I need to get out of Los Angeles."

Xxxxxxx

Lorelai, had just finished styling her hair and gave herself a quick once over in the mirror, finally satisfied with her reflection, she left the bathroom and reemerged into her and Luke's bedroom.

Luke smiled once her saw her, as he took her by the hand, and kissed the back of it. "You look beautiful, Lore" he commented.

"Thank you" Lorelai smiled back at him.

"The baby sitter arrived five minutes ago, and she and Rory are already playing a board game together. Whenever your ready, we can go." Luke informed her.

Lorelai nodded her her before she told him "Then we better get going, we are already running late.

"Well if the traffic isn't too heavy, we shouldn't be too late." Luke told her as he grabbed his jacket.

Lorelai just gave a nod of agreement, as Luke left the bedroom to go downstairs, to get Lorelai's jacket. It was a warm night, and it was doubtful she would need it, but you never knew when a cool breeze might blow in from the ocean. She walked over the dresser, and opened her jewelry box, and threw on a couple pieces, before she made her way downstairs, where Luke greeted her, and draped her coat around her shoulders, placing a soft kiss on her lips before stepped back. "You ready now?" he asked.

"Yeah, let's go." She told him before she said goodbye to Rory.

Once they left the house, Lorelai couldn't help but think about the kiss Luke gave her. There was something missing, something lacking, and Lorelai knew just what that something was…this always happened to her every time Regina was on her mind, and every day since Wednesday she had been.

' _You don't have the connection with anyone else that you have with Regina.'_ Her mind told her.

' _I know_ ; she answered herself in her mind, before Luke broke her thoughts.

"you okay, Lore? You look…lost." Luke asked

The minute his voice filled with concern, made Lorelai instantly feel guilty. Plastering on her best smile, she replied "Everything is great, just a bit tired."

"Are you sure you want to go?" Luke asked needed to make sure.

"Yes, I couldn't make the party last year, and I don't want to disappoint Mal again this year." She told him, still smiling.

Thankfully, Luke accepted the explanation, and started the car, pulling out into the dark night.

Xxxxxxx

When Lorelai entered the room, Regina was on her third drink, when she spotted her. She was just barely able to restrain the impulse to spit her drink out of her mouth, she quickly set the glass down, knowing if she didn't, she would drop it.

' _This is not happening. I need to leave. I'll make up some explanation to Mal tomorrow, but for now I need to get out of here._ ' She told her self, before turning and heading straight for the back door, but she walked right into Mal.

"Regina! Sorry, I just walked around the corner, and ….." Mal began.

"I'm fine, Mal." She interrupted her, "But I have to leave. I just received a call from Henry and I have to…."

Regina, stop. I know you are lying." Mal cut her off.

Regina's eyes went wide, as she looked at her "Excuse me?

"I just got off the phone with Henry, literally one minute ago…just before Lorelai walked in and that's really what this hasty retreat is about." Mal told her.

From the look on Mal's face, Regina knew she wore a complete look of shock, trying to recover she schooled her expression and went on the defensive. "I have no idea what you are talking about. I didn't even know Lorelai was here. And it hardly matters to me if she is or isn't anyway. No, we don't get along all that famously but it certainly no reason for me…"

Mal just chuckled as she shook her head "And now you are babbling, and you Regina don't babble." Mal told her as she leaned back against the wall, arms folded, and looking smug. Regina wanted nothing more than to slap her. She stopped talking and looked anywhere but at Mal. What could she say? How did she know? Did Lorelai say anything?

"I had more scenes on Once with you and Lorelai than any of the others actors combined. I noticed the way you would look at her when you thought she wasn't watching, and I noticed her doing the same with you. Truthfully, I never knew my suspicions were corrected, but your behavior since you are arrived in L.A. has confirmed it beyond a doubt." Mal explained, as if she could read Regina's mind.

Despite Regina being trapped, she couldn't help but look at her with a raised eye brow.

"That night at the restaurant was the first big clue. You gave Luke the fifth degree about Lorelai, and later I saw you barely restraining yourself form speaking to him again. Then, I called you last night, right after Lorelai's new show was about to start, and you told me that couldn't talk right now, and you'd call me back in an hour. Tonight, you've been enjoying yourself with the rest of the old gang until Lorelai walks in, and you nearly snort vodka out of your nose." Mal continued.

Regina couldn't do anything but sigh and roll her eyes. Mal knew her too well.

"I'm not asking you for an explanation, Regina. But I am asking that you stay for my party…. let nature take it's course for once." Mal pleaded.

Smiling, Mal gave her shoulders a pat, and walked in the other direction, probably to greet Lorelai. Regina sank against the wall knowing her carefully played façade had finally failed at least one person.

She could still run for it… Gathering herself form her slumped position she prepared to do just that. Mal would understand, eventually. As she moved into the shadow of the hallway, she glanced once more to the left to check if anyone was going to call her out when she glimpsed Lorelai walking past. Instead of moving right, Regina found herself moving left as if being pulled in that direction against her will. Unconsciously, staying in the shadows, making sure she didn't draw attention to herself she continued to move slowly forward until she spotted the tall brunette.

Lorelai was only wearing simple back jeans and a casual blue shirt, but to Regina, Lorelai looked stunning. Though, if she was being honest, she couldn't remember a time when Lorelai didn't take her breath away. Regina leaned against the wall behind her, observing while Lorelai chatted with Mal, and Belle. As she watched the brunette smile and laugh, it caused a smile on her own lips to form. 'What would happen if I just walked up and apologized to her?' Regina asked herself.

But as soon as the thought formed it was squashed as Luke, was suddenly by her side. She watched as he took her hand, and bought it to her lips, and kissed it before entwining both of their hands. Regina, was bought crashing back to reality with a sharp slap of jealousy. As, Luke put it arm around Lorelai, Regina tried telling herself she was being absurd, she just needed to leave, and go back to New York. Back to a life where everything was in her complete control.

Forgetting that she was hiding in the shadows, Regina stepped out of the hallway and grabbed a drink from the nearby table. Quickly, she drank the contents down and turned around to walk back down the hallway to the back door, when suddenly she found herself caught in a clear, blue gaze. She stopped in mid-turn, seeing first surprise, apprehension, curiosity, and then indifference in Lorelai's eyes.

Xxxxxxx

Seeing, Regina, Lorelai felt her already shaky foundation crack once again. This was the absolute last person in the world she expected to see right now. She clamped down on her bubbling emotions and put on a mast of indifference. The last thing she wanted Regina to see was the effect that she still had on her. Over the course of filming Once, Lorelai became very skilled at hiding everything she felt for Regina. Usually, the older woman was just as skilled at hiding things from her…. except for now. Lorelai couldn't help but notice Regina looking shaken, the look of cold indifference no longer there, instead, looking…. conflicted.

As Lorelai, removed her hand from Luke, she told him she would be right back, never once taking her eyes off of Regina.

Xxxxxxxx

She couldn't help herself, Regina stood rooted to the spot, swallowing hard as she watched Lorelai approach. 'What do I say? What does she want? Did Mal say something her?' Regina asked herself, trying to order her thoughts, she was thinking with a guilty mind. Mal wouldn't have said anything' she was simply conjuring the worst case scenarios. Her thought process, stopped completely five seconds later when Lorelai was standing face to face with her, only three feet away.

"Hi Regina." Lorelai said with a smile that didn't move to her eyes, like it normally did.

"Lorelai" Regina replied "It's been a long time."

' _Could I have said anything more asinine?_ ' Regina's thoughts yelled.

"It has" Lorelai agreed, as an uncomfortable silence fell between the two women, each looking the other up and down. Assessing, appraising, evaluating and, as much as both would hate to admit it, admiring. Finally, Lorelai broke the silence. "I heard you were asking about me." Her voice was strong with a hint of hesitation, unsure if she should have said anything, but she needed to speak.

Regina was startled, but struggling to keep her expression impassive, so she began to twist her hands together. 'Get out of here.' Her mind screamed, but she decided to ignore the voice in her head, and she finally responded with not an answer to Lorelai's question but a truth all the same. "I was just about to leave. Why don't I do that, and we can avoid this, okay?"

Although, she had phrased the words as a question, Regina had not expected an answer. She expected Lorelai would take it as the stamen it was intended to be and they would both their separate ways, she had not prepared for Lorelai's cutting retort "Oh, I see. You were just going to run away again."

Just fought herself, as her eyes tried to widen. "I don't know what you are talking about. I am not running from anything. I was just going to try and save us both from this exact situation." Regina explained.

"More like you were trying to save yourself from what could be an ugly scene." Lorelai scoffed as her eyes flashed with resentment.

Just then did Regina's defense go up, as her voice dropped to a low growl. "I should think you'd care about saving yourself from public embarrassment at this point in your career."

"At least I still have a career." Lorelai snapped back, just as coldly.

Xxxxxxx

In that moment, Lorelai couldn't believe she had just said that, and wished immediately she could take it back. She couldn't seem to control herself. Seeing Regina like this, so unexpectedly, and after how much she has been thinking about her lately, everything came flooding back, after she tried so hard to repress them.

Regina was fuming now, as she snapped "At least I never slept my way to the top."

Lorelai felt her pulse pick up as her eyes glowed with anger at the derogatory remark. "No, you were always more of the user than the used, weren't you? Just meaningless sex and fun, right?" Lorelai snapped, and not even a second later, she didn't even both to give Regina the chance to respond, when Luke stepped up next to the two, and placed his hand on Lorelai's back, oblivious to the hostile atmosphere. As she turned to Luke, Lorelai almost snapped at him to give them a moment, but instead realized where she was, what she was doing, and shut her mouth. ' _I can't believe this woman can still piss me off so damn easily.'_ Lorelai thought to herself.

"See, I told you Lorelai was very well, did I not?" Luke told a very stone faced Regina, was was now very still.

"You did, excuse me. I have use the restroom." Regina told them quickly.

As Regina walked away, Lorelai, couldn't help but snort, as she watched Regina go back down the hallway. ' _How damn typical. At the first moment of opportunity, she is running. Why did I even bother coming over here? She used me, and ever since, she has only wanted me out her life. Why after all this can't I just let her go?'_ Lorelai asked herself, when Luke finally broke her thought.

"She's abrupt, isn't she?" Luke commented.

"You could say that. Let's get a drink." Lorelai told him, and didn't even bother waiting for a response before walking off.

Xxxxxxxx

Regina stood, hands braced on the side of the sink, holding herself up, arms shaking with anger.

' _HOW DARE SHE. MEANINGLESS SEX AND FUN! HOW CAN SHE EVEN THINK… OH GOD'_ Regina thought to herself, and then it hit her, as her face paled, and the memory slammed into her. ' _Those were my words.'_ Staring at herself in the mirror, her resolve finally firmed. ' _Okay, she thinks she's got such a clear picture of the reality between us. I think it's about damn time I shake that up.'_ Regina thought to herself, before she turned on the cold water, placing her hand underneath it, and splashing some water on her face. She quickly grabbed the towel, and roughly dried her face, not even caring about reapplying her make up. Not caring in that moment how she looked, she threw the towel on the sink, yanked the bathroom door open, and stalked down the hallway to find Lorelai.

She quickly spotted the brunette talking to David by the front door, but she marched on across the living room. David saw Regina coming and greeted her with a large smile, which he quickly wiped from his face when he saw her expression. Lorelai turned to see where he was looing, her eyes sparkling, but immediately her gaze turned stormy upon seeing Regina.

"David, would you please give us a moment?" Regina demanded.

Feeling as thought he was back in the middle of filming Once, he didn't need to be told twice.

Once he was safely out of sight, Lorelai turned on Regina. "Shouldn't you be running out the door?" Lorelai asked caustically.

In a moment flat, Regina grabbed the younger woman's elbow and pulled her close, causing their bodies to touch. As her heated gaze grabbed Lorelai's own, and held it, their faces now only inches apart, adrenaline and anger kept her fire hot. Regina knew her tone was biting, but she didn't care. "You think you have me completely worked out don't you? You think you know exactly how I feel about you. You think I used you and now you think I hate you." She growled before she took a deep breath, and then continued. "Both things couldn't be further from the truth." Though her admission had come out more softly than planned, her eyes continued to blaze hotly into Lorelai's own. "I never, ever used you. Our time together meant more to me than you will ever possibly imagine. You have no idea how many nights the memories from that time have sustained me through some of the darkest years of my life."

Breathless, Regina stopped for a moment, trying to regain control of her voice, which had risen with emotion. Lorelai looked stunned, so stunned that Regina thought for a moment that if she wasn't holding her up, the younger woman would need to sit down. Quickly she moved her hand from Lorelai's elbow to her shoulder, pulling the woman down to her own shorter height and putting her mouth close to her ear.

Both for the privacy and the vulnerability of her admission, Regina whispered urgently, "I asked about you, because you've been on my mind constantly, and I care about you. I've always cared about you and I always will. I have never for one moment hated you. Been terrified of you? Yes, but never hate. Never that."

Abruptly, Regina pulled away and released her hold on Lorelai, taking a few steps back "I'm sorry you spent all these years believing those things."

As Regina studied Lorelai's face and swing an acute pain in soft blue eyes, she decided to say no more. She'd hurt this woman enough, and couldn't bear the thought of doing so any longer. She only hoped what she had just confessed would give Lorelai some level of resolution with their past. Without saying another word, she brushed passed Lorelai and out the front door.

Xxxxxx

Lorelai stood motionless, stunned, and disbelieving. Conflicting emotions swirled in her head, and she reached out for something to steady herself. finding only the front door handle, she quickly let go of it, imagining irrationally she could still feel Regina's hand grasping it. Light-headed, she slumped against the door, trying to regulate her breathing.

Suddenly, she felt a hand on her shoulder, and she looked up into the warm eyes of Mal, who looked at her with concern. "Lore?"

She quickly pushed herself off the supporting door, she tried to smile, but she failed. "Excuse me." She responded before nearly running to the bathroom.

Shutting and locking the door behind her, she moved to the lone chair in the door, and sat down on it, relieving her shaky legs from their burden.

What is she doing to me? Why is she doing this? She can't mean those things. I've seen her eyes burning with hate for me and now she tries to tell me she's never hated me, that is was fear…. Could it have been? Was it fear in her eyes, shadowed with some many insecurities and doubts that I mistook it for hate? She does she really care about me?

"No. I can't do this." Lorelai yelled in frustration, as a tear slipped down her cheek.

Angrily, she rose and stood in front of the sink, commanding herself in front of the mirror. "You will not cry over this. Not over this woman again. She's ripped you apart enough. Don't give her the opportunity to do it again."

Lorelai quickly tuned on the cold water, before she rinsed her face, trying to wash the conflicting emotions down the drain and out of her life. Grabbing the towel, sitting of the edge of the sink, she began to dry her face with it when she smelled it. the scent of apples. Regina. The scent caused Lorelai's head to spin, making her dizzy. She stumbled backwards into the chair she had just been sitting in, still holding the towel to her face, she couldn't stop herself from deeply breathing in the familiar scent. Before she could sort out all the memories that flooded her mind, her body broke down. Clutching the towel to her stomach, she let herself cry, knowing she was helpless to try and stop it. Irrationally her mind kept repeating Regina's name as she rocked back and fourth with tears.

She didn't know how much time had passed, when a knock on the door made her jump.

"Lore? You okay?" Mal asked through the door.

As she chocked back tears, she struggled to make her voice sound normal. "I'm fine, Mal"

"I don't want to disturb you, but Luke is looking for you." Mal informed her.

"Thanks, I'll be right out." Lorelai told her, as she grappled with the still threating tears, she smothered them down, and stood up again to once again confront herself in the mirror.

"Okay, Lore. You have got to pull yourself together. Stop thinking about her. dismiss her as she's done to you so many times for so many years." As she looked at her own blue eyes looking back at her, she knew it was doubtful she would be able to do that.

 _ **Xxxxxxxx**_

An hour later, Lorelai was home and in the bathroom getting ready for bed. Luke was downstairs paying the babysitter, and making she left okay. As Lorelai stepped into the scalding hot shower, Lorelai exhaled sharply as the water hit her body, but quickly adjusted to it and sighed with relief. As she stood there under the hot water, she couldn't stop the surfacing of a memory from years ago…

 _ **XXXXXXX**_

 _"_ _What a shit storm!"_

 _Lorelai smirked at her friend's curt description of the current weather. They had just arrived at the local Hilton, and were dripping wet from the torrential rain outside. Lorelai ran her hands through her hair, slicking it back and out of her face, before she approached the front desk._

 _"_ _Gilmore and St. James." She told the desk clerk, the boy looked up their names on the computer and handed Lorelai their keys since Sookie was still standing in the middle of the lobby ringing her hair out._

 _Lorelai walked back to Sookie, and picked up her bags. "Our rooms are on the firth floor. Let's go up, have a hot shower, change our clothes, and meet back down here in around two hours, and grab some dinner."_

 _Finally, Sookie stopped fussing with her hair, and picked up her bags, following Lorelai to the elevator. "Sound's good. I'll be glad to get out of these clothes. I can't believe how wet it is out there. I say we just have dinner at the restaurant downstairs."_

 _Lorelai laughed "God Sookie, you act like you've never experienced the rain before."_

 _Sookie made a face in response before changing the subject. "So, who was that woman you were talking with at the party?"_

 _Instantly, Lorelai couldn't help but light up in a smile. "Regina Mills."_

 _Sookie smirked "I thought so, you know she's standing over at the bar, watching you."_

 _Lorelai had just pushed the button for the elevator when she heard Sookie's stamen, and dropped her bag, before she spun around to look at the bar area. Regina Mills was standing just inside the entrance, watching her. When she saw Lorelai looking at her, she smiled before taking a drink from the glass in her hand._

 _Suddenly, Sookie nudged Lorelai, making her jump, "Elevators here, Lore. Grab your bag, and let's go." Sookie told her with a smirk._

 _"_ _Uh right" Turning around, Lorelai picked up her bag, and entered the elevator, giving one last look toward Regina. The older woman raised her glass and the elevator doors slid shut._

 _"_ _You like her" Sookie commented._

 _Startled, Lorelai turned to face her "I do not. No, I mean I do, she's a very nice woman."_

 _"_ _Yeah, right" Sookie smirked again._

 _"_ _God, Sok, not everything is about about sex" Lorelai told her with a roll of her eyes._

 _Sookie just laughed, "Of course not, but this is. You two were stuck like glue to each other at the party and the vibes coming off both of you were intense. Not to mention the look she was giving you from that bar….. she wanted to eat you alive."_

 _"_ _Sookie!" Lorelai exclaimed, smacking her friend on the arm, making her laugh harder and then stepping out of the elevator as it arrived on the fifth floor._

 _"_ _Hey, anyone can see it fi they care to look. You two were like moths to a flare the moment you laid eyes on each other. I was there, I saw it for myself. I have never seen two people have such immediate chemistry together." Sookie told her still smirking._

 _Lorelai said nothing and just walked down the hallway towards their rooms. She didn't know what to say because she had felt exactly what Sookie was describing. Never in her life had she been so drawn to someone as she was to Regina Mills. The two had laughed and joked all night talking about their lives and their ambitions. When the evening ended Lorelai wanted very much to ask for Regina's number. Not in a romantic way, she wasn't going to approach a married woman, no matter how connected she felt to her or how much Regina had flirted with her. She wanted to keep in touch though, to keep Regina in her life even if only sporadically. In the end, she had said nothing though and the two had parted ways with a hug. Lorelai could still feel the impression of Regina's body pressed into hers and she shivered._

 _Once they arrived to her room, she told Sookie she would come over to her room in two hours and the two pared ways. Lorelai entered her room, immediately dropping her bag, and began to strip off her wet clothes. When the last article of clothing as finally removed, she picked up her bag, and tossed it on the bed to get out some clean clothes, laying the out of the bed, and then she grabbed her toiletries and headed for the bathroom._

 _She quickly turned on the shower, adjusted the temperature and then stepped inside, closing the glass door behind her. She immersed herself under the cascading water, as she sighed with delight. Idly, she wondering if Regina would still be down that the bar by the time she arrived down there. Probably not, since that was still a good two hours away. 'Wait what? Go down there as soon as you are done here' her mind shouted at her._

 _She snorted at her internal voice, finding it sounding a lot like Sookie. "No, I'm not going down there any earlier. If she's still there when I get down there, so be it, if not, then it wasn't meant to be." She told herself, though she really wasn't satisfied with her resolution, but she finished showering, trying not to think about the petite woman with dark hair, and dark brown eyes._

 _Ten minutes later, she stepped out of the shower, and wrapped herself in one of those large, hotel white towels. She didn't even make it out of the steamed room three steps before she stopped dead in her tracks, rendered utterly speechless by the vison sitting in the chair by the window._

 _"_ _Regina?" Lorelai asked in barely above a whisper._

 _Regina quickly stood up and blurted out "I told the desk clerk I was a friend who hasn't seen you in years, and wanted to surprise you."_

 _Lorelai had noticed Regina was fidgeting with the room key in her had, her eyes moving back to Lorelai, back to the door, and then back to her. She's nervous. In spite her bravery of waling straight into my room, barely resisting the urge to run straight back out. Lorelai didn't want her to leave. "Well you certainly succeeded in surprising me." Lorelai told her._

 _"_ _You don't want me here…." Regina quickly jumped to conclusion…but Lorelai cut her off._

 _"_ _NO" Lorelai snapped it bit too rough, and Regina looked at her in alarm, thinking she made a huge mistake, but Lorelai quickly corrected herself. "No, what I mean is, I don't want you do leave."_

 _'_ _What are you doing? Do you think this will really end in anything other than misery?' her inner voice tried to reason with her, but Lorelai quickly pushed the thought aside._

 _Hesitatingly but attempting to project confidence she moved toward the older woman, until they were only a few feet apart. She caught Regina's darting gaze and held it, feeling her breathing start to increase at the desire she saw there. Finally, Regina stopped fidgeting and tossed the spare key on the nearby table._

 _"_ _I know I shouldn't be here but…. I want to be" Regina explained, her voice dropping to a deeper, huskier tone on the last four words._

 _"_ _I want you here too" Lorelai responded, her own voice filled with desire._

 _Lorelai knew they should talk, discuss what is happening between them, but standing so close to Regina, there was only one thing she wanted to do right now. What she had wanted to do all day. So she stepped closer, as she raised her hand to touch Regina's cheek, moving her fingers lightly over it, before cupping it. She could see Regina's chest rise and fall faster as her breathing increased. She moved her head slowly, as she lowered it to the shorter woman's waiting mouth, both women moaning as their soft lips melted together._

 _Instantly, Regina raised her arms, wrapping them around Lorelai, and pulling the taller woman closer to her body. Lorelai responded by moving her hand from Regina's cheek to the back of her head, tangling in her hair, while she wrapped her other arm around the shorter woman's body._

 _As she traced her tongue over Regina's lips, she was quickly granted entry and when she entered Regina's mouth, her head began to spin, so she tightened her grip on the shorter woman and welcome the sensations._

 _Both women finally separated when they backed into the wall, Regina letting out a small "Oomph" oh the impact. Pulling back and meeting Regina's gaze again, Lorelai could feel the same desire and lust radiating from her passionate blue eyes. Moving her hand from Regina's head, she began to slowly unbutton the older woman's shirt, enjoying every inch of flesh revealed to her hungry eyes. Regina's hands were moving her back, encouraging her, when she last button was undone, Regina straightened her arms as Lorelai pushed it off her slim shoulders, the shirt sliding off, and dropping to the floor, hands grasped Lorelai's head, pulling her down for another passionate, heated kiss._

 _Quickly, Regina pushed herself off the wall and guided them back into the direction of the bed, Lorelai turned sharply when she felt the bed against the back of her legs, switching positions with Regina. Instantly, the two women fell onto the bed, legs tangling together, as Lorelai moved to find the clasp on Regina's bra._

 _Breathlessly, Regina broke the kiss, as she smiled up at Lorelai, as she then undid the knot keeping Lorelai's towel in place, throwing it on the floor, while her eyes traced over Lorelai's body, admiring every curve, and Lorelai felt as though the gaze was heating her._

Xxxxxxxx

The shower door opening is what drew Lorelai from her trip down memory lane as she yelled out her intruder's name. "Luke!"

Luke just simply smiled, "Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you. I thought you would like some company." He told her as he put his hands on her shoulders, and tried pulling her naked body flush against his own, but was met with resistance.

"Luke, I don't really feel like that in here." She told him a bit coldly, more so than she meant for it to come out, as she freed herself from his grasp, and quickly moved around him, and out of the shower before he could even question her, grabbing her nearby robe, and then made her way to their bedroom.

Lorelai breathed a sigh of relief when Luke didn't follow her, like she had expected him to, but rather he continued to take his own shower. She quickly slipped on a pair of boxer shorts, and a t-shirt, before she got into the kind size bed, and tried to stop her mind from thinking of Regina. When Luke finally reemerged from the bathroom, Lorelai quickly closed her eyes, and hoped that he would just assume she had fallen asleep. Sadly, though, a minute later she was cursing silently when she felt her fiancé's hands start to move down her back. 'Damn it, maybe if I just lay here…' she thought to herself, when she felt his hand move down under the waist of her boxers and she knew she wasn't going to be that lucky.

Carefully, she reached around and removed his hand, as she faked a yawn, and sleepy eyes as she turned to face him. "I'm sorry, I'm just really tired. Can we just sleep tonight?" She asked, even though it wasn't a question that was up for discussion. She wasn't in the mood, well not for him anyway.

Luke didn't even bother to try and hide his disappointment, but let her have her way anyway. Lorelai could tell that she had pissed him off, but she really didn't care right now. Quickly, she felt relief when he turned over on his side, and within five minutes was asleep.

As Luke laid beside he fast asleep, Lorelai couldn't help but think of how crazy this was. 'He is your fiancé Lore, you love him, what the hell are you doing? Are you really going to let her ruin the life you have built, all based on one encounter?' Her mind screamed at her. But Lorelai couldn't help it, she could only think that she'd prefer to build a new life only with Regina in it. It's what she has always wanted. She would never stop wanting that, though a long time ago she did face reality, and realize that it would never happen. But after Regina's confession tonight, Lorelai gave it another thought.

'She didn't say she loves you. She said she cares about you. Remember that. There is a big difference and in your heart, you don't even believe that she does care. It's nice to reminisce about the good times you had with her, but don't forget about the comments she made to you, when she left you. How easily she dismissed you or the way she's treated you since. Don't let your emotions rule you again. You can't trust her. That has been the only thing she has proven to you.' Her mind tried to tell her, and Lorelai knew she couldn't argue even though she so desperately wanted to.

Xxxxxxxx

Meanwhile, back in the hotel that over looked the ocean, Regina Mills laid drunk in her hotel bed, thinking about her encounter with the one and only Lorelai Gilmore. She did not intend to tell Lorelai all those things, yet now she has, and she doesn't regret it. In that moment, all she felt was a great relief at finally having given Lorelai the honesty she deserved. Regina wasn't sure what would come of it though, probably nothing she thought. She had let the great love of her life slip through her hands a long time ago, she let responsibility, fear, and her driving need to put her career first before anything else, and she let all of it take Lorelai away from her. She had spent all these years wasting her time with socially acceptable stand-ins, knowing full well that none of them would ever make her feel the way Lorelai did. And what the woman could still make her feel with just a simple look.

However, what good her confession and acceptance did now, she wasn't sure. What she was sure of was that Lorelai would never trust her again. One confession of words did not make up for those years proving with actions the exact opposite. As they say, actions speak louder than words. "And do you truly understand what a life with Lorelai would mean?" She asked out loud to herself in a whisper.

Regina shifted restlessly at her own whispered words, did she understand? Did she know what it would mean to the life she already had? To her family? Her son? How accepting would they be? Of course, they have accepted her life with Emma, and Henry loved Emma. But would they love Lorelai? Family was important to Regina, and it had been one of the main reasons she previously cut off the relationship with Lorelai in the first place. Was she really ready to walk up to her family now, hand in hand with Lorelai, and introduce her as she girlfriend? Knowing that they probably wouldn't accept her, because she wasn't Emma Swan.

Though, in that moment a warm feeling built in her stomach, and quickly consumed her thoughts. Yes. She was surprised at such an intense reaction from the mere thought of having Lorelai as her girlfriend, and maybe one day as her wife. One again, Regina shifted in her bed, pulling and throwing the covers. ' _Shit. I never should have come to L.A._ ' She thought to herself. Falling back on years of routine and safety, Regina tried to shutting Lorelai out of her mind. 'I've lived this long without her, and I will continue to do so.'

Xxxxxx

Not even ten hours later, Regina found herself sitting in the waiting area at LAX, ready to board her flight back to New York. She forced the thoughts of Lorelai out of her mind. She would board this flight, and resume her life, leaving Lorelai behind her once again.

"Passengers may no begin boarding for flight 421 to New York City." A female voice came over the intercom.

Quickly, Regina stood from her seat, picking up her bag, and walked over to the entry gate. Though, she took no more than three steps in front of her before a voice in her head yelled, 'Don't do this!' and memories of Lorelai came rushing back. Lorelai laughing. Lorelai smiling. Lorelai crying. Lorelai dancing, touching, moaning, yelling. The rush of pictures had no order, and Regina found herself dizzy by the onslaught of emotions surging within her.

' _I can't leave. I can't.'_ she thought to herself before she stopped dead in her tracks, as she half apologized as someone behind her bumped into her, before she turned around and walked towards to exit, and out of the airport doors. She took a deep breath of breath air and smiled into the sun as she thought. 'I am hopelessly in love with Lorelai Gilmore.' The heat on her face warmed her and she could feel the fear melt away as she finally embraced the words that could change her life. ' _I won't run again._ '

Regina found herself getting into one of the many taxi's waiting for the busy travelers, and she instructed the driver to take her to the Hilton. She had made up her mind, she was staying. It was time to show Lorelai she was ready to back up her words with actions.

XXXXX

Meanwhile, Lorelai found herself floating in that languid space between dreaming and reality. She and Regina had just shared an amazing evening of love making. Feeling warmth behind her, she turned over and moved closer to it, as the warm body turned around, gathering her in hard muscular arms. Instantly, Lorelai's eyes shot open, and a bare, hairy chest came into focus. A far cry from the soft breasts in her mind's eye. Her body tensed as she froze, she wanted nothing more than to jerk away but instead stayed perfectly still, not even breathing and feeling entirely confused.

A moment later, Luke rubbed his hands up and down her back, and then she felt his lips on her neck. She didn't even bother to think about the consequences, she only wanted the kisses to stop, so she pushed him and away, and rolled out of bed, as she snapped. "I am not in the mood."

"What is the matter with you?" Luke demanded to know, as he sat up in bed. "Ever since Mal's party last night you have been acting strange. You disappeared for ages into the bathroom, you were deathly silent on the ride home, you didn't want to shower together, you dressed in boxers and a t-shirt for bed, and now you don't even want to make love."

Lorelai stopped in her tracks as she turned to him, "I was tired last night, and this morning I have to be at the set within an hour, I don't have time." She snapped at him before she resumed her path to the bathroom, stopping before she walked into the room, and added sharply, once again looking back at him. "And what the hell is wrong with boxers and a t-shirt?"

Luke shook his head as he jumped out of bed, and pulled on a pair of jeans. "You have never worn such clothes to bed, since we have been together."

Lorelai just rolled her eyes. "This is riduclious. I don't have time to argue with you just because you are pissed off because you didn't get any." She told him before she slammed the door shut.

Luke remained silent, although he was fuming, as he pulled on a shirt, and then made his way downstairs to the kitchen.

A half hour later, Lorelai arrived downstairs dressed in jeans and a shirt; when she got to the set she would be rushed off to wardrobe anyway. Her daughter, Rory, had already left for school. She had said goodbye to her when she came upstairs to the bedroom earlier to see her. Meanwhile, Luke just sat at the table eating breakfast and having his morning tea, he wasn't much of a coffee guy, and couldn't understand how Lorelai could drink it. He said nothing to her, and she said nothing to him. Right now, she didn't know what to say; she needed time to think everything through. She didn't even want to be in the same room with him, so she skipped over her coffee, deciding she would grab some on the way to the set, she grabbed her purse, cell phone, along with her keys before she headed for the door.

"No goodbye kiss?" Luke shouted after her.

Lorelai turned around, and saw the sarcastic expression written all over his face, she scoffed and then walked out the door. She wasn't even outside two seconds, before she heard silverware hitting the floor, and she knew that Luke had just thrown his spoon across the kitchen. Lorelai didn't even bother with it, she just got into her car, started it, and then hit the button to open the gates, and hastily drove away. Angry with herself, she asked 'What the hell is wrong with him?' as she hit the freeway heading to the studio.

' _You are what's wrong with him'_ her mind yelled.

"Nothing is wrong with me." She shouted into an empty car.

But then she quickly shook her head, as she realized 'Everything is wrong with you right now. You have completely let her fuck you up.' She sighed in anguish, as she felt the truthfulness in that statement. One heartfelt speech from Regina, and now she was losing her grip. All these years, she had dealt with her unresolved emotions for Regina, by burying them. They had been resurrected when she had joined the cast of Once, but all it took was a quick 'No' from Regina, and she was burying them again, but this time even deeper than before. Then Once was over, Regina was once again out of her life. No reason for her to ever enter again…. but now here they were, and Regina had done just that, with no obvious reason other than she wanted to. To tell her that she cared.

Lorelai remembered the hurt expression that came briefly to Regina's features when she had referred to their affair as meaningless sex before she quickly covered it with a stone cold one. She remembered the way Regina's eyes shinned with emotion when she told Lorelai that she had never hated her. The way they were shadowed by darkness when she told her their time together had seen her through some of the hardest times of her life. She had also seen the openness in them when she confessed she had been thinking about Lorelai constantly. Also, the vulnerability when she admitted to being terrified of her.

The confession warmed a part of Lorelai, when she thought she frozen forever, but confusion still remained. Why was Regina terrified of her? Why had she been thinking about her constantly? Where was she now? Was she still thinking about her?

"What the hell am I supposed to do?" Lorelai asked out loud. Her emotions hadn't felt this raw in a very, very long time. "What does Regina expect to come over this? She's married; I'm engaged. Is she only telling me this out of guilt? Does she just want to set things right or does she still feel something for me? Is she going to contact me? Does she expect me to contact her?" Lorelai asked herself as she kept driving. "This is crazy!"

Though, she couldn't focus, so she slammed her hands on the steering wheel, causing the car to swerve slightly, and the driver behind her to honk their horn. "Shit" She mumbled, as she tried to gain some control of her chaotic emotions, so she turned on the radio hoping that would clear her mind. A song came on that she recognized and she automatically started humming along with opening chords. As Lorelai sang along, with the first couple of stanzas, but only one line into the third, did she begin to choke up at the words, recognizing them as they reflected her current state of mind.

' ** _I finished crying in the instant that you left._**

 ** _And I can't remember where or when or how._**

 ** _And I banished every memory you and I have ever made._**

 ** _But when you touch me like this_**

 ** _And you hold me like that_**

 ** _I just have to admit_**

 ** _That's it all coming back to me_**

 ** _When I touch-'_**

Quickly, Lorelai punched the radio, turning it off, as the song hit too close to home. She knew that if she continued to listen to it, she would have lost focus and caused an accident. "This can't be happening to me." She said hopelessly, making the rest of the drive in silence.

Xxxxx

Regina was tightly gripping the steering wheel of her rented Mercedes as she pulled up behind a small truck, wanting to gain access to the CBS studios lot. She tried to relax, but failed, just like she had failed all day. Waking up from her nap, when she returned from the airport, she had felt more energized and free than she had in a long time. Now that she had finally discarded her fear and doubt, she felt giddy with the warm feeling that infused her every time she thought of Lorelai. However, now she faced the fact that she had to actually see Lorelai again, and she felt the fear and doubt in a whole new way, as she fought against the nausea that she was now feeling.

She had no idea how Lorelai had taken what she had said to her last night. 'God, was it really only less than 24 hours that I had said those things?' she thought to herself. Now she was fearful Lorelai would not even give her the time to listen to what else she had to say. More than that, she was terrified that if Lorelai did give her the time of day, she would monumentally fuck up what she wanted to say. 'You cannot blow this. If she gives you the chance you must get it right. For once.' Her mind told her, and Regina agreed.

Finally, it was her turn at the security booth, and she gave her name, as she looked around the part of the lot, and she could see the guard checking her clearance to visit. Early, this morning when she had the brainstorm to visit Lorelai at the lot she worked on, she called a friend at Paramount and had them arrange her access.

"You can go ahead Ms. Mills." A young guard said as she opened the gate for her.

Before Regina stepped on the gas, to pull forward into the lot, she turned to face the guard once more and asked "Can you tell me where Lorelai Gilmore is filming?"

"Studio 5. Drive straight ahead, and then make a right at the first turn, then drive another 300 feet, and you should come to the building, it says Studio 5 on it." The guard told her, after he checked the listing.

"Thanks" She told him as she flashed a smile, and then began to follow his directions.

Regina had only made it a hundred feet from the building, before she stopped her car. Her palms were seating, and the nauseous feeling increased. She took a deep breath, and then gave herself a pep talk. "You can do this. You want to do this, remember. You need to do this. Lorelai is in that building and you are going to march right up to her- no, not march, you are going to gently approach her and ask for a moment of her time. If she dismisses you with a dirty look, you will not run away. You will try again and again if necessary until she agrees to speak to you. Speak to her softly, gently, let her hear the love in your voice; don't hide it out of fear of rejection. Do not fuck this up."

Although, she wasn't feeling a whole lot better, but her determination was intact, and she resumed the short journey and parked her car. There was no activity outside the studio, so Regina supervised the scene that was currently being filmed. She could hear a man's voice giving a monologue now, as she turned the coroner, she could now see who he was giving it to. Lorelai.

' _She is beautiful'_ Regina thought to herself with a smile.

As she looked around, she spotted a large pillar and silently slipped behind it. no one as of yet had seen her, and she wanted to keep it that way. She would reveal her presence when she felt ready. For now, she peered around the pillar and watched Lorelai, as she tried to stop her hands from shaking. As she thought, of the only other time she was nervous she was so nervous about speaking to someone…

Xxxxxx

 _"_ _What can I get for you?" The bartender asked._

 _"_ _A Vodka tonic" A sultry voice replied._

 _The bartender expertly fixed the drink, before he handed it to her and she moved off to stand at the entrance to the bar. Regina was restless, the entire day she had spent in the company of the most beautiful, intelligent, charming woman she had ever met, in a long time. The woman was only 25 years old, but nothing about the way she conducted herself or spoke made you think so. The moment Regina laid eyes on her, she felt an irresistible pull toward the woman. It wasn't the first time raised an eyebrow at another female, while being engaged or married to Emma, but it was the first time she was unable to resist temptation._

 _Regina was an actress in Hollywood, married with a young son. She couldn't risk her marriage or her career, but yet she couldn't help herself, she introduced herself to the young woman and they immediately hit it off. Over the course of two hours, her attraction to the woman became more than superfluous and by the end of the cocktail party another two hours after that, she was absolutely more than smitten._

 _Somehow, she resisted the urge to ask the woman for her number, but she had insisted she give her a farewell hug, and wished her all the best. Even now she could still feel the delightful feminine curves pressed against her body._

 _Shivering Regina looked over from the one of the hotel's water features to two people rushing inside out of the rain. They were drenched from head to toe, one of them promptly cursing the storm raging outside, and as her gaze settled onto the taller of the two women, her breath caught, as she froze._

 _Lorelai Gilmore._

 _The woman with whom she'd spent the day with, the woman who had captured her attention in a way no one else ever had._

 _Regina swallowed hard as Lorelai flickered her wet hair back, running her fingers through it, before approaching the front desk. As she took a sip from her glass, she debated on what to do. She could call out to her, gain her attention, and maybe have dinner with her? get to know her more. Or you could just shut up._

 _Regina took a longer drink as she quiet observed the two women, who had now made their way to the elevators. Regina felt like a deer caught in the headlights when Lorelai suddenly turned around and looked right at her._

 _In that moment, all her years of training and acting caught up with her, and kicked in, while she smiled before taking another sip. She need it. She needed plenty of drinks, just then did Lorelai smile at her, causing Regina's heart to skip a beat. Lorelai gave one last look in Regina's direction; Regina raised her glass to her, and when the elevator doors shut, Regina slumped against a stone pillar and moved the glass to her mouth, only to find it empty. She made her way back to the bar, and ordered another, and drank half of it once it arrived._

 _Her hormones were ranging. 'This is ridiculous! No one has ever affected me like this before. Something must be wrong with me.' She tried to sit at the bar and think about something else, anything else, but she failed miserably. All she could think about, was what it would be like to kiss those full lips._

 _An Idea suddenly seized her, and before she could think about the ramifications, she paid for her drinks and hurried to the front desk. A couple minutes later, she had a key in her hand for Lorelai Gilmore's room, and before she knew it was in an elevator heading for the fifth floor._

 _'_ _What are you doing? You are married with a child. She's twenty-five, and more than that, you are married!' Her mind screamed at her._

 _But Regina, she quickly shoved those thoughts aside, and only concentrated on Lorelai. Whatever consequences her actions had, she would deal with them later. Right now, all she wanted, no all she needed, was to be with Lorelai. As she stood outside Lorelai's door, trembling with fear for a couple minutes, before finally she worked up the courage to insert the key, then opened the door, and walked into the room, knowing it would become one of the most satisfying time of her life._

 _XXXXXX_

"CUT!" was the one simple word that was being shouted, that was enough to snap Regina back into reality, as she refocused her eyes on Lorelai. She briefly thought of the warm reception she received from Lorelai, all those years ago when entered her hotel room, but she knew that it wouldn't be nearly as easy this time.

She could hear a man talking to Lorelai, who quickly made her laugh before he walked away, and in that moment Regina took a deep breath, as she gathered her courage, and finally took a step forward to move from her hiding place. But just then, did a familiar man approach Lorelai, that made Regina stop dead in her tracks. Luke Danes.

Regina watched, as Luke took Lorelai in his arms with a large smile, hugging her tightly before he drew back to speak to her. All the while, she stumbled behind the pillar, once again feeling her jealously take over, but there was something more, it was the feeling of unsure.

' _What am I doing? That man loves her. She loves him and am I really going to take it upon myself to march down there, and screw it all up? Do I really have the right to throw her entire life into chaos again, because of my own feelings? Am I being selfish in my desire to pursue her? Am I putting myself first again, and not really thinking about Lorelai?'_ she thought to herself, as she watched the two interact.

The very idea of what she might be doing was enough to make Regina second guess herself. This was supposed to be about putting Lorelai first, and if there even was the slightest possibly she wasn't doing that, then she had to step back. She had to reevaluate. She wasn't entirely sure if she was doing the right thing, but having the vision of Lorelai in Luke's arm firmly in her mind, she knew she had to leave, and Regina did just that, without even speaking to the one woman she came here to speak to.

XXXXX

The laughter from Paul's joke quickly died when Lorelai saw Luke approaching, as her body tensed. It was rare that he ever came to the set, and after this morning she was surprised to see him here now.

"Lore" He began, with a large smile on his face "You look beautiful."

Lorelai was surprised by his sudden transformation, but she quickly tried to accept it, and the hug he was now giving her.

As Luke pulled away, he kept a hold on her hands as he began to explain himself "I want to apologize, I have been acting like a spoiled baby. Please, let's have lunch?"

She was relieved that he was not there for a fight, and she automatically apologized to him too. "I'm sorry too, I have just been out of it since Mal's party."

Suddenly, Luke's face filled with concern as he asked "Did something happen there?"

"I just had a…" Lorelai began, but didn't know how to put it. "I just had a confrontation with somebody, I haven't seen in a while." She tried to explain, and hoped that Luke would just accept the answer.

But of course he didn't, "Do you want to talk about it?

"No" She snapped, and a bit too quickly, causing Luke to look at her a bit more closely.

"You would tell me if something was wrong, right?" Luke asked, as he searched her eyes.

"Of course" Lorelai lied, with a fake smile. "It was nothing, now come on, let's go get lunch." She told him, hoping that he would drop it.

Of course, she hated herself for lying to him, but what could she say? How could she discuss the turmoil she felt over her feelings for an ex-lover, with her husband to be? She couldn't.

As the both walked out of the studio, Lorelai squinted her eyes against the bright sun, as she grabbed her sunglasses from her purse. As she put them on, she looked up just in time to see a black Mercedes pulling away. She had no idea who the car belonged to, so she tried to get a better look at the driver, but the car gained speed, and before she knew it the car was out of sight. But what she thought she saw, stopped her dead in her tracks.

Quickly, Luke turned around, when he noticed that Lorelai wasn't beside him anymore. "Lore? He asked, but when she didn't answer, but only remained frozen, he repeated himself, but this time more insistently. "Lorelai?"

"Sorry" She told him quickly "I thought I forgot something. Let's go." She added before she almost ran the rest of the distance to the man's truck.

"Are you sure you are okay?" Luke asked once he reached his truck, and got inside, as he once again found his fiancé behavior strange.

"Yes, I am fine. Now come on, let's go, I am starving." She told him, once again faking a smile.

In that moment, like he has in the last twenty-four hours, Luke felt like he was in the Twilight Zone, but he said nothing more, instead choosing to do just as Lorelai said. When they stopped at the gate, behind a red BMW, Lorelai once again, caused Luke to raise his eyebrow, when she jumped out of the car without a word, and ran over to the security booth. "Hey Mike, can you do me a favor?" She asked the man, with a sweet smile.

"Sure, Ms. Gilmore." The young man answered, obviously smitten with her.

"Can you tell me who was driving the black Mercedes that was just here?" She asked him.

"Sure" Mike told her, and Lorelai held her breath, as the man went through the log book. "It was Regina Mills" he told her after a few seconds.

Suddenly, the breath of air Lorelai was holding in, left her, as she grabbed the booth to steady herself. "Are you sure?" She asked him obviously shaken.

"Of course, why? Is there a problem with her?" The young man asked confused.

"No. No, not at all. Thanks, mike" Lorelai told him, before she walked back to Luke's truck in a daze. Once she was inside, she shut the door, and dropped her head into her hands.

"Lore? What's wrong?" Luke asked with his voice filled with genuine concern.

"I don't feel too good" She told him as she looked up, as she said nothing more; she didn't know what to say.

The man couldn't even hide his confusion, and he was sure his face reflected it. A moment ago, Lorelai looked and sounded perfectly fine, and now she looked deathly pale. "Let's skip lunch, okay? I will take home. Just take the rest of the day off. They can film the scenes you aren't in." Luke told her, and Lorelai didn't even fight him.

XXXXX

As Lorelai looked out of the window, through the sheets of rain that had suddenly decided to pour down on the streets of L.A., she sipped her water in her glass, as she kept trying to make sense of the abrupt turn her life had taken. When she first arrived home from the set, she immediately went into the bathroom, one to get away from Luke, and two, to compose herself. The questions inside her head rained down on her like the rain outside the window. Why had Regina said those things to her at Mal's party? Why had she now come to see her at the studio, only to end up leaving without a work? What sick, and twisted game was Regina trying to play?

Though, Lorelai feared believing Regina was genuine with her words at Mal's party, because she couldn't deal with facing that pain again. So, she spent the next hour ponding the situation, that how is how she decided what this was. It was a game. For what ever reason, Regina was choosing to fuck with her mind, and she didn't know why, but she sure as hell was going to find out.

Lorelai, welcomed the surging anger that was rushing through her, along with the adrenaline, it was a relief from the constant confusion and loss of control she has been for the last few days. 'I need to find Regina, and confront her.' She thought for a moment on where Regina might be staying in L.A., but the choices were far too vast, for her to just call hotels asking, plus, she knew they wouldn't tell her anyway. Then, an idea hit her, and she reached for her phone.

"Well hello darling, are you feeling better? Mal answered on the third ring.

"I will be" She told her, masking her anger with a smile.

"Oh?" Mal asked in a voice, Lorelai knew all too well, Mal, wanted more details.

"Listen, Regina came by, but before we could talk, she left. She and I have a conversation to finish from your party. Do you think you can tell me where she is staying, so I can call her?" Lorelai asked, and then there was no sound. "Mal?"

"She's at the Hilton, downtown, room 1705, you know the one? It's overlooking the ocean." Mal told her, not sure if it was a great idea, but she knew those two had to work out their issues.

"Yes, thank you Mal." Lorelai told her.

"No problem, I hope you too work it out. Take care Lore." Mal told her, before she hung up the phone.

Lorelai looked at the phone in her hand for a few moments, oddly. 'What a strange thing for Mal to say.' She thought to herself, but then quickly let it go.

She had other things as she quickly ran down the flight of stairs, Luke thankfully had left about twenty minutes ago, to go back to the restaurant, so she didn't have to worry about explaining more odd behavior to him. She grabbed her leather jacket off the hook, to give her some protection from the pain, before she grabbed her keys, and before she knew it she was out the door. She really didn't give herself any time to think about what she as doing. Lorelai was going to the Hilton, and this situation between her and Regina, was getting resolved today.

* * *

 **Well there are the first three chapters, please drop me a review and let me know what y'all think. Should I go on?  
**


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